Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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civil rights

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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