Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

Trashcan!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

Whats 9 + 10? 19

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

42.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

Mitt Romney for president.

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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