What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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It's your mother, open the door.

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DANA

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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