Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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