A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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tom pauling

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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