hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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cats are pussies

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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