Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops