Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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