What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Dont look at me.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Har har hey

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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You

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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