Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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