When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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