A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops