your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two girls are sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -139

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Paperclip... BANANA?!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops