What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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Black History Month

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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(Put joke here)

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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