What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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A seal walks into a club.

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Stop being a centipede

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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