You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -44

21

thumb_up thumb_down -44

how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

thumb_up thumb_down -48

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Guess what? The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My mom fell on our cat and it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops