So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Yo momma is SO black.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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9/11

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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