A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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i'm not gay

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops