How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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Dani barton= lovely

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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