What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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poopoo

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Snooki

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What's the deal with airline food?

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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