What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

thumb_up thumb_down -12

dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What time is it? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock ... *No ones home*

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops