Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

thumb_up thumb_down -60

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +57

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

thumb_up thumb_down +53

baby loves lalma

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops