Where's my tractor?

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

Why? Because!

Scientology.

Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

Chicken

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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