Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Wolf Pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Do you know what they say? Words

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops