What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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