How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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alert('hiiii');

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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