Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Women's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops