How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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