Hey, come here often? No.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Five guys one rape.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Haha pizza

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Go away.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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