A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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