A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Women rights.

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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