What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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A black succeeds

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How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

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William Raines.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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9/11.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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