a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Diana and victoria

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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