What's brown? My toilet hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

thumb_up thumb_down -184

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops