What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

I used to know what alzheimers was

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...