How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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don't just stand there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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