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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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