What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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