What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops