What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I think everybody should have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -14

your life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops