- Anti Joke

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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