what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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