Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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epic win?

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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