- Anti Joke

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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