What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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