What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Women can vote? wtf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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