OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

minorities.....

A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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