Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Of course, first door on your left

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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