what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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A man killed himself.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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