- Anti Joke

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

A man buys a prius

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... i love you, you love me He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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